Sad For Society
This post has been a long time coming, but it has been one of my most challenging to write. I already feel like I'm different to most people for silly little reasons; i don't really drink, i hate going out at night, reputation doesn't really exist or matter to me in the sense of popularity, but none of these things has ever really bothered me. In fact I'm proud of who I am. I'm still proud of who I am, but sometimes also wish I'd just feel like I fit in with everyone else because lately I feel like I'm going nuts. And as always my emotions are at a peak and that's why I'm writing. (good idea? probs not)
Am I the only one that looks at society and feels a little bit devastated. How have we come to the place that we've come to. People hold more value to developing their looks than their personality or their minds, what things seem to be is more important than what they actually are. It's all about appearance these days rather than what is. Society has become shallow and superficial and out of touch with what's actually real.
Real is heartache, stretch marks, bed hair, and different shaped lips. Real is emotion, the highs and lows of it and personal challenge. We live in a world now where we're forced to feel like we have to be and look perfect all the time and yeah, that would be wonderful, but has anyone realised how completely unrealistic that expectation is? I've always said I'd hate to be a celebrity due to the pressure of being watched all of the time, and always having to look good. But that's everyone now. Everyone's always watching, and judging, and the way you look is apparently really important. It makes me so SO sad to think about the younger generations being brought up with these unrealistic expectations.
I feel as though self aware rarely exists these days and so many people are functioning from how they think they should feel rather than how they actually feel. It's SO unhealthy. i.e "Oh well, good, I get to be a strong independent woman now." A girl will say straight out of a breakup. Is that what the relationship meant to you? "Oh well"? Are you not going to allow your heart to feel, to hurt, to appreciate that it was so full of love at one stage? Instead we deny or feel flawed for feeling any emotion that isn't strength or happiness and are living the lie that other emotions don't have place in our life or are of less value. Do we realise that a lot of the time sadness, frustration or anger are emotions that fuel the people who make the most change in the world. We're human beings and we're designed to feel and being aware of how we feel and how we react and why we react, its all so important.
Even if we set aside the emotional stuff and focus on the physical. I really try to feel beautiful in my own skin and accept and love myself for me but it is getting so hard to do so when now "beauty" has become so accessible and purchasable, especially by women. It's almost unusual to not have had botox injections these days. Beautiful isn't something you are anymore, it's something you buy. I almost lived pretty much 20 years of my life without makeup and only maybe wore it for special occasions. But even now I find myself becoming self conscious when everyone else has their lips plumped, their eyelashes full of extensions and a full face of makeup. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it but it's not real. Societies idea of natural isn't natural at all anymore. Looking natural has dropped to looking below-average and this almost "celebrity" way of life is the new normal. Guys, you do realise majority of girls grow hair on their body right, in all places, yeah. Majority of girls cheekbones don't naturally sparkle like they're from twilight, and boobs usually come in dif shapes and sizes. Like that's natural. Just to remind everyone. The girl's that look hot all the time spend a lot of time and money doing that and I ADMIRE that they can maintain it but it's not "normal." I feel like normals not the right word, but maybe "usual?" I'm not sure. just. IT TAKES TIME AND MONEY TO LOOK HOT ALL THE TIME. And it's exhausting. And I don't even do half what most girls do to maintain their appearance.
Relationships struggle because people's standards are SKY HIGH now. And I feel, not in the important things. People practically "online shop" for who they're interested in and judge mainly by appearance, and then later as they spend time with them notice flaws that were non existent before and are confused when they realise they're not "perfect". Of course when I say flaws I mean consequences of being an actual human being. "What!? they don't actually wake up looking the way they do on instagram?"
Has anyone seen that meme that's like "Take a girl swimming on the first date so you can actually know what she looks like" OOOOOR how about you decide to date a girl because of her great heart and stop being so damn shallow. It all just drives me crazy. (clearly)
P.S side note: i do realise physical attraction is also important in a relationship.
I feel (generally speaking) women have become too easy and men too entitled. Dating has reversed and seems to move in the opposite direction; Often starting with sex, then if that goes well, really getting to know the person, then potentially realising you don't actually connect with them, and then moving on to the next one. And we wonder why relationships aren't lasting, why we all struggle with commitment or why we are so emotionally damaged? It's incredibly hard to create a genuine connection with anyone under the pressure of societies expectations. If I have to sleep with a guy on the first date to show I'm interested I guess I'll pass. I'd literally rather be alone. Let's not forget to mention the fact that being honest about how you feel has apparently become harder than asking for (or sending) nudes. Wicked. No one is willing to be vulnerable anymore (guilty), no one is willing to truly put their heart on the line and no one fights for anyone anymore because that would be a sign of weakness and god forbid we do anything to sacrifice the perfect facade we've created for ourselves in our make believe life. (getting salty sorry)
I dunno I think we're all starting to lack substance. I don't think anyone has truly asked themselves why they do what they do. Who are we trying to impress and will it all matter. I sometimes feel myself in moments focusing on how many instagram followers or likes I have, and unmediately have to remind myself that it's not important. It's not important, yet so many people care more about what they look like on social media than who they are in real life. I have so many wonderful people in my real life that love me; my value doesn't depend on the numbers which are linked to my social media accounts and I know that. But even I'll admit, It's just so easy to get caught up in.
Social media isn't real life and most people are literally addicted. I don't have snapchat and the amount of surprise I get when I tell people is unbelievable, it's as if I told them I don't have a kidney. I might delete Facebook too, I usually add as their surprise kind of amuses me.
Social media isn't real. We see the attractive stuff, thats all anyone shows. The attractive side of everything. And it feels like we're all starting to believe that's all that exists.