Old lady trapped in a 22 year old body š
(disclaimer: this post is probably super unpopular opinion and it makes me sound mean and judgemental but i mean it from a completely curious perspective. pondering, not judging. well yeah, kinda judging also sorry)
Something thats been on my mind a lot lately. Does love exist in todays modern society or has it become a temporary feeling? Or can it exist, I guess I mean? I've obviously been in love before and donāt get me wrong its the greatest feeling in the world, this blog isnāt me reflecting on any personal experiences but more just on society in general.
I do know love is possible I just wonder if its something that can last forever anymore. It used to; I mean, I think. I've seen elderly couples together - one couple comes to mind from work who always refers to her husband as "my beloved (name)" and it warms my heart. But is it possible for us, the younger generations to find someone who will stay loyal to us forever?
Everything is so temporary and replaceable these days and I feel as a society in general people just have this "constantly needing to upgrade" and almost i wanna say impatient? mentality. I wonder if its something that has grown from how consumer driven we are (i.e Iāve known people who can barely afford food that have brought the newest iPhone, etc). I did hear that society has changed from āthings focusedā to āexperience focusedā - People donāt want to spend lots of money on houses, cars and nice furniture they want to travel and experience - this is obviously a change in mentality, and I wonder if a change in mentality that has also happened in terms of love and relationships.
With Tinder, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram etc being loyal is made incredibly difficult. And i want to be clear so that Iām not misunderstood - no one or nothing should be an excuse for being disloyal, and I believe if you love someone you should only have eyes for them but realistically we cant control who we see in our feeds. No one can deny that. Before modern technology a man would see only his wife's body and now a 14, 18, 20, 30-whatever year olds have access to millions of girls or guys who will post their selfies online. (can i make clear that what you see is different to what you focus on so again, that doesn't mean its an excuse.) I hear about so much insecurity in relationships lately, is this where it comes from? and I'll admit, Its almost understandable. With or without a partner its so easy to be insecure when you see so many other gorgeous people online and they're so easy to connect to, too. Literally the click of a button and we can send them a message that no matter where they are in the world, theyll pretty much receive instantly. We practically can almost āonline shopā for the opposite sex. In the case of tinder, that is pretty much literally the case. Before; nudity and intimacy and being sexy was something for the bedroom but now sexiness means more likes on instagram so which girl or guy wouldnt want to post photos which get them attention (its hard to type sarcastically) And i do mean that sarcastically but I am also pretty guilty of it. Not sexy photos (lol, lets be honest) but I will definitely be conscious of which angle me or my body looks better in and I am constantly nervous about what people will think of the way I look when I post anything online. So yeah, I'll admit it feels really nice to get likes on your selfies, in saying that, Im fully aware of this and every part of me wishes that it wasn't the case.
I havenāt really dated since my last relationship so lets be honest I donāt really even know how dating works these days or if its even a thing but I was speaking to my friend and he said most guys (gonna say the word 'kinda' here, but he said it pretty surely) expect to be slept with on the first date. Is this normal? I feel if i was a guy this would be a huge red flag. If a girl was willing to do that so fast how many other guys is she willing to/has she done this with? Or is that good cos it means they have experience? is experience more important than self respect? Iām so confused by this. Moving so fast would give you no time to really get to know the person beyond the bedroom and although i definitely believe sexual chemistry is important in a relationship isnt just chemistry in general more important?????????? (that many ?s was necessary) plus dont you wanna know if you really like them before you took that step in the ārelationshipā. Thats the thing though, so many people are okay with just doing these things and moving on without the relationship. Its like the relationship part is added baggage when so many people are willing to do relationship-y things with no strings attached. like how. it literally bothers me so much that pretty much the entire of my city has slept with the entire of my city. and Iām not even over exaggerating (always over exaggerating lol). 20 year olds have slept with more people than their age and thats just so crazy to me but so normal to most people. in fact almost a goal for some. Obviously theres an exception to everything but can we please develop some like, standards as a society or. I dunno I just find it kind of sad? The last thing a girl or guy should feel is pressure when theyāre on a date that they might lose a really great person because no one is willing to wait for anything these days. Iām just so confused and turned off by it all. For me, Iām kinda like fine, if someone doesnt want to wait they can find someone who suits them. but like. cmon people. think of the children. hahah i dunno. I DONT KNOW. I feel literally like Iām a grandma speaking to her grandchildren but surely someone agrees? Probably not i dunno. (say i dunno one more time sam)
Anyway. In saying all of that I also know couples who have been together for so long and are incredibly happy and id never doubt their relationship and to all of you I HUGELY respect you. Its just that in the past year almost all of my friends and Iām talking sooooo many are now single and I just find it so crazy and its made me think a lot. Social media has allowed us to connect with so many people but has that ability to connect made our ability to love more difficult?
Also I havenāt slept properly in like a week so maybe thats where all these constant shower thoughts are coming from.