I haven’t blogged this year yet.
My confused relationship with this digital world we live in continues…haha

Mentally I feel the best and clearest when I’m off socials, but I can’t seem to rid myself of them completely.
My last instagram post was at the start of Dec 2020, regardless of having so many photos to share I haven’t felt the drive to. I share the occasional story because (as weird as it sounds) it feels like less of a commitment than sharing on my page, but still I was finding that it brings more anxiety than joy so I barely do that either, the only thing that keeps me from deleting is a fear of being forgotten, which I know is irrational. I have been enjoying feeling a little more private in my life though, I must admit.

In order to become more intentional and present this year I have decided to give myself monthly focuses - March is learning Italian. I am doing all I can to immerse myself in the language in my free time - listening to Italian music, podcasts, YouTube channels, and studying the language. It’s hard, sometimes I’ve felt really dumb, and I’ve been getting frustrated at myself but I am reminding myself that slow progress is better than no progress and that I have to start somewhere.

I have been uninspired with photography and it’s definitely getting me down a little. Happiness for me is memories, but I have realised the happiness from memories is amplified ten-fold when I have them captured. I thought for a while that taking photos was an obligation for social media and I challenged my need to document everything by stopping completely; I realised then how much it meant to me, and during that period of keeping my camera at home I felt like something was missing. I’ve been encouraging myself to bring my camera out more often, but haven’t seen many of my photography friends lately and I’ll admit its harder to feel inspired to take photos when you’re not spending time with other creatives. Maybe it’s a self confidence thing that I need to overcome but I feel like a burden with my camera if no one else is super interested in photography. I know that’s not the case and my friends love and support me, but it’s just the story that I’m telling myself.

In ways life has felt hectic lately and in others I’ve felt more grounded than I ever have before.
I’m in love with this guy…(like, so so so much) and as cliche as it sounds, it grows every day.
Our relationship is deep but we playfully pretend it’s shallow. I haven’t even told him I love him, but I know he knows. (or at least he does now if he reads this haha…hi.)
He’s my best friend.
I have never felt so understood and supported in life. I never have to explain myself, I feel completely accepted as I am, and it’s so easy to accept him exactly as he is because I adore all of his qualities. We are silly but we can also sit and talk about the serious things.
It’s so easy and refreshing.
I joke all the time about marrying him but damn I hope it comes true one day because life is just so good with him in it.

I have learned to cook sourdough bread, focaccia and next I am trying garlic bread which….need I list anymore reasons for him to turn me into his wife? (Haha just joking) it’s been fun learning and making these things myself. I would like to spend more time cooking if I wasn’t working so often but when I can, or on the weekends when we can, we’ll try new recipes. We made home made gnocchi together which we were so impressed with, last week was eggplant parmigiana…maybe we’ll open a restaurant soon who knows :P

Not sure what else,
If you’re a photo friend
Or a regular friend
Force me out with my camera
Ya girl needs to get back into it.

This is who inspired me to be more focused:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxAaBZNduQs&t=35s

Also loving this channel for life philosophy inspiration:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzwBj-Ho8Sg&t=804s

And this youtube channel keeps me grounded:
www.youtube.com/channel/UCCvcd0FYi58LwyTQP9LITpA

Some photos since December: